To Waterstones, Hampstead, where majesty of comic conciseness Ivor Cutler reads from his new book, "Scots, Wa' Straw". It is his only public performance this year.
Despite arthritis doing its utmost to prevent him keeping the pages still, Mr Cutler's writing and delivery remain wry, sly and spry as ever.
"When I say that I am stupid, I am not making a comparison."
Occasionally, his mind fails him mid-anecdote and he apologies to the audience:
"Try not to live far too long."
A brief, immeasureably sad silence.
Then:
"Thirty-five is about right".
His accidental backdrop is a large display of books about The Atkins Diet.
A new 21st Century spectactor sport – Ebay Racing.
The rules are as follows. One puts a large amount of unwanted items of a similar format, in this case vinyl records, all on Ebay at once, pricing each one at a blanket 99p. This is just enough to cover fees and maximises the chance of a curious, impulsive buyer taking the plunge. Then you sit back and watch, placing mental bets on which ones will sell quicker and for a higher price, and which ones will have the world turning its collective nose up at them.
<a href="http://cgi6.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=wowasfriend&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=50">Click here for all the action.</a>
So far, The Stone Roses are way out in front, while the likes of Shock Headed Peters lag behind. A criminal shame, as "I Bloodbrother Be" wipes the floor with anything those Mancunian purveyors of indie disco comfort food did, and if that record remains untaken after auction closure, I shall take a very low view of humanity indeed. As this is part of my ongoing "Life Laundry", anything unsold goes into the crusher, with no exceptions.
How interesting that the Sugarcubes singles, of all things, have been quickly snapped up, while a Smiths single with b-sides unavailable on CD remains unloved. Fair enough that one such b-side is the somewhat lacklustre "Work Is A Four-Letter Word", but "I Keep Mine Hidden" is the very last Morrissey & Marr composition, and surely warrants 99p of somebody's money.
I'm reminded of a visit to an indie disco where the floor cleared for The Beach Boys' "Darlin'", but filled for Belle and Sebastian. I think it's far to say that even Belle and Sebastian themselves would comment in a "without whom…" manner.
The thing I will miss most about vinyl is the joy of wrap-around gatefold sleeve artwork. Not least as evinced on <a href="http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=27343&item=2556911662">this Nancy Sinatra album</a>.
Newsflash! Spiritualized have suddenly taken the lead! Over to you, Gary…
"Well, Dickon, this is a turn up for the books. "Lazer Guided Melodies" is perfectly available on CD, but clearly its vinyl incarnation is not to be sniffed at…"
Update a few minutes later:
"And there goes I Bloodbrother Be! Could a sinister 80s indie-cabaret classic give Jason Spaceman's druggy furrow-ploughers a run for their money..?"
Well, it beats watching the cricket.
