At one end of the ballroom is a raised platform, where the investiture ceremony takes place. Behind us, on a high balcony, is a chamber orchestra playing classical pieces for the entire duration. We’re in what I suppose is the main stalls, though some of the other guests are seated in raised rows either side. And oh look – to our right there’s Kylie Minogue’s sister, Dannii, with Mum and Dad Minogue.
It’s only once you arrive on the day that you find out whether it’s the Queen who’ll be giving out the awards, or whether it’ll be Prince Charles, who covers for her. Today it turns out to be the latter case. Which suits many of the media fine, as they later get to report Ms Minogue receiving her OBE with the headline ‘The Prince And The Showgirl.’
Charles arrives at the dais escorted by a couple of sworded-up Ghurkhas and a handful of Yeomen Of The Guard, in their ornate flat hats, red tunics and stockings. ‘Beefeaters,’ says Mum later. I correct her, unable to resist an excuse for pedantry. I tell her that Beefeaters are actually the ones who look after the Tower Of London, also known as Yeomen Warders. The Yeomen of the Guard, are a separate gang who act as royal bodyguards, distinguished from Beefeaters by their red cross-belts. I know this because I watch ‘Q.I.’ and live alone. I am wretched.
The investiture begins. One by one, the recipients enter from a room off to the left, have their name announced by a miked-up black-suited staffer who stands at a lectern, then step up to the Prince to be given their medal (or be knighted with a sword – there’s a single Sir being dubbed today). Then the Prince chats to them for thirty seconds or so, before they exit off to the right. Finally, they re-enter the ballroom discreetly from the back, and take a seat for the rest of the ceremony.
In fact, the medal Prince Charles gives them is a lightweight replica, not the actual medal. He places it on a hook that’s been pinned to the recipient’s clothes in advance, while they queue up. So there’s never any chance of the Prince fumbling about with clasps and pins. When the honorees exit to the room at the side, the real MBE is waiting for them in a presentation box. More things I’ve learned, then.
The awards are given out in order of rank downwards, so the knighthoods come before the OBEs and MBEs. Each rank is then divided up into military or civilians, with military going first. And within those divisions, the women go before the men, in alphabetical order of surname. Thus Mum finds herself with the other female civilian MBEs, lined up immediately after Ms Debjani Chatterjee, a poet from Sheffield. They chat while waiting backstage, as it were – Mum tells me Ms C is charming company.
