The news is full of yet more appalling photos of US guards taunting or abusing Iraqi prisoners, or pictured smiling over their corpses. One is a sunny, white-toothed young female soldier, delighted to be posing over a body wrapped in plastic. I tell myself it's all a bit Starship Troopers meets Twin Peaks, in an attempt to stop myself feeling sick at the reality.
Still, there is humour to be found. The Commons had to be cleared when someone in the gallery threw condoms full of purple flour at Mr Blair. Despite all the lectures to the public of vigilence and security, the Honourable Members were utterly clueless as how to react, some sprawling out of the building in self-seeking confusion, some milling around in a bemused fashion. They appeared to have had no drill training whatsoever. It's said that Ian Duncan Smith, the sacked former Tory leader, was the only one who reacted swiftly, shouting "Sit down! Stay still!" No one paid any attention to him. Faced with possible death and being told what to do by Mr Smith, the MPs took their chances.
After other news of another intruder at Windsor Castle – again a benign one – one can't help thinking of missed opportunities. What if, say the newspapers. But there never is an If. From the man who fired a starting pistol at Prince Charles some years ago, to the "comedian" who gatecrashed Prince William's party, to this new intruder and the Commons condom-hurlers, our Royals and Leaders must project some aura of playful invulnerability. Help yourself to taking a pot shot, the effect seems to be, but you wouldn't try anything serious. The only thing that can kill a Royal, or depose a power-mad Prime Minister, is a drunk chauffeur or, in the case of Mrs Thatcher, other party members. Members of the public? Tug your forelocks, wear your silly fancy dress and throw your flour. It's all so English, and ultimately my feelings are ambivalent. I'm glad and sorry.
The Commons attackers were from Fathers 4 Justice, whose cause was also represented (albeit independently) by a man dressed as Spiderman holding up the traffic on Tower Bridge last year. All very well, but if you're convincing the world that you're a Good Father, dressing up in bad fancy dress, performing publicity stunts and wasting police time in a climate of potential terrorist attack do not immediately spring to mind as traits of responsible paternity. Giving the news reports, the protesters' grievances as fathers have been utterly upstaged in MPs' minds by the security implications. It's difficult to feel that their cause has been advanced.
And is the irony of rueful fathers misusing condoms lost on them?
